In My Blood
by meg-claire79
Summary: A one shot based off of Shawn Mendes' song In My Blood. Angsty anxious Beca and the always loving and considerate Chloe. A music video, a concern and a love confession.


My knees are pulled up to my chest and my vet clinicals textbook lays open on the coffee table. I can't pull my eyes away from the TV as the weeks top ten music videos play. My once quiet apartment is now filled with the melodies of pop music and the voices of those who made it big. The vibrating of my phone against the fabric of the couch breaks my attention. My heart leaps slightly at the possibility of it being the person whose music video I'm looking for. When I look at my phone screen my excitement dwindles slightly but I'm still happy none the less. I answer the call and bring my phone to my ear.

"Hey Aubs. What's up?" I wrap one arm around my stomach and prop my elbow up on my knee.

"You going to buzz me up or do you want me to sit out here." _Shit!_ In an instant I grab the remote from the couch beside me to pause the TV then I get off the couch to buzz Aubrey in the front door of the apartment complex.

"Sorry… Come on up." Aubrey hums in response before hanging up. After ending the call, I put my phone in the pocket of my sweat pants then head to the kitchen after unlocking the door. After pulling a bottle of white wine from the fridge I grab two wine glasses from the cabinet. Just as I finish pouring Aubrey's glass there is a knock on the door. "Come on in Bree. It's open." I take the wine glass and walk over to the door.

"You totally forgot." As Aubrey walks in I hand her the glass and she hands me the bag of Chinese food. I scoff slightly as I walk back to the kitchen.

"No, I didn't!" When I reach the counter, I start pulling the food items from the bag. As I do so I look up at Aubrey who has an eyebrow raised and is sipping her wine.

"Really then what are we doing tonight?" Aubrey walks over to the counter to set her wine glass down. Once her hands are free she braces them against the counter to give me a stare down.

"Movie night. Totes movie night." My words are spoken with a confident tone but the slight up rise of one of the corners of Aubrey's mouth lets me know I was wrong.

"Wrong. We were supposed to be live streaming the debut of Beca's first music video with the Bella's…" Aubrey turns to look at the small living area of the apartment. "But it looks like you started without us." I cringe slightly as I grab two bowls from the cabinet.

"See the thing is… I knew the video came out tonight. I just forgot that we were streaming with the Bella's." Aubrey hums as she grabs the two pairs of chop sticks and pull them from their paper wrapper.

"I know… you've been busy this week. With your last final on Monday and all… the girls will understand." I smile small as I put white rice in the bottom of each bowl.

"I hope they will." Aubrey chuckles as I start putting Dandan noodles on top of one of the bowls of rice and vegetable chow mein on the other. "I don't understand how you eat that spicy stuff." I hand Aubrey the bowl with the chili oil covered noodles then pour a glass of wine for myself.

"It's not my fault you're a wimp." Aubrey puts a set of chopsticks in my rice and the other in hers before walking over to the couch.

"I am not a wimp I just like my taste buds on my tongue where they belong." Aubrey chuckles again and reaches for the remote to unpause the show. As the music video for Location by Khalid finishes playing I grab my stuff and go sit on the couch.

"So, did Mitchell give you the inside scoop of this thing?" Shrugging my shoulders, I pick up some food with my chopsticks.

"Not really, she's been super busy the last few weeks. Publicity and press are killing her right now. She's the new it girl everyone wants…" My last words are laced with sarcasm. It's not fair everyone wants Beca. I wanted her first. Aubrey nods her head in the direction of the TV and my eyes follow her line of sight.

"Well, I guess were about to find out…" The screen is black but opens up to Beca laying on a grey tiled floor wearing a black tank top and black joggers. Her eyes are closed and one hand rests on her stomach. A guitar starts playing and Beca starts to sing softly.

"Help me, it's like the walls are caving in.

Sometimes I feel like giving up

But I just can't it isn't in my blood."

A kick drum gives a beat in time with the guitar and the camera zooms in on Beca. Her opening words catch me off guard.

"Laying on the bathroom floor, feeling nothing

I'm overwhelmed and insecure, give me something

I could take to ease my mind slowly."

Beca's eyes flutter open and I can see the signs of tears in her eyes. The sight of a vulnerable Beca makes my heart ache.

"Have a drink and you'll feel better

Just take them home and you'll feel better

Keep telling me that it gets better

Does it ever?"

A lump forms in my throat as I suppress the building tears. Another back beat adds to the song as chunks of concrete start falling around Beca. My hands start to tremble with the need to reach through the TV and hold her.

"Help me, it's like the walls are caving in

Sometimes I feel like giving up

No medicine is strong enough

Someone help me, I'm crawling in my skin

Sometimes I feel like giving up

But I just can't it isn't in my blood.

It isn't in my blood."

The chunks of concrete are falling faster around Beca and she clutches her shirt as she sings. The slight heaving of her chest shows how much effort she's putting into singing. My vison blurs with tears but I will them away. The concrete stops falling around her and Beca looks to the right and the hand that was clutching her shirt now rests on the floor. The camera angle changes and it looks like snow is falling now.

"I'm looking through my phone again

I'm feeling anxious

Afraid to be alone again, I hate this

Trying to find a way to chill, can't breathe, oh"

The snow falls faster around her as the camera zooms back in on her face. Her opposite hand comes up to clutch her shirt and the other balls into a fist as she looks back up and closes her eyes.

"Is there somebody who could help me?

It's like the walls are caving in

Sometimes I feel like giving up

No medicine is strong enough."

The snow is falling faster and Beca is moving her head from side to side.

"Someone help me, I'm crawling in my skin

Sometimes I feel like giving up

But I just can't, it isn't in my blood

It isn't in my blood."

The snow turns to lightening and rain as the camera pans for a side shot then back up. Both hands drop by Beca's sides and the rain falls faster wetting her hair and leaving marks on her shirt.

"I need somebody now!

I need somebody now!

Someone to help me out!

I need somebody now!"

The camera pans to the opposite side and I can see a tear running down the side of Beca's face as she sings at the top of her lungs. As they pan away a light comes on like the sun around Beca. Her chest is heaving, and her hand is clenching and unclenching.

"Help me, it's like the walls are caving in.

Sometimes I feel like giving up

But I just can't it isn't in my blood.

It isn't in my blood."

Grass starts growing through the cracks of the tiles Beca is laying on. Beca looks directly into the camera as it moves around her. As the beat increases both hands come to clutch her wet tank top.

"It isn't in my blood

I need somebody now

It isn't in my blood I need somebody now

It isn't in my blood."

As Beca keeps singing at the top of her lungs the grass coming through the cracks turns into flowers surrounding her. With the last line of the song Beca's voice breaks and her hands fall to her sides. The camera zooms out and the screen goes black. When I blink tears trail down my cheeks. My insides are twisted with guilt and pain. The bowl of Chinese food resting in my lap is long forgotten as I dig through every memory of Beca so see if there was something different about her. There was too much emotion in that song for it to just be a song. Beca screaming 'I need somebody now' rings in my head and it tears me apart. My body jars as Aubrey places a hand on me.

"Chlo? You okay?" I shake my head to clear it then I turn to face her.

"Yeah, good…" My voice is thick with emotion and I have to clear my throat.

"You can go call Beca… it's okay. I understand. That song has me a little worried too. Who knew Mitchell could show that much emotion." I nod my head then look back at the TV that is now playing a Cool Whip commercial.

"Yeah… I'll be a second." I move the bowl of food from my lap to the coffee table as I stand. Making my way to my room I pull my phone from my pocket and go through my contacts. Once in my room I close the door and press Beca's contact info. The phone starts ringing, and I bring it to my ear. After three rings I hear the call connect. I let out a sigh of relief as Beca's voice comes through the line.

"Hey Chlo…" I can hear Beca smiling as she speaks, and it causes butterflies to spread through my chest.

"Hey Becs…" I walk over to my bed and sit on the edge.

"So, what do I owe the pleasure of having beautiful Miss Beale calling me on a Friday night." A blush spreads across my cheeks when Beca calls me beautiful.

"Nothing at all. I just miss you…" There is a slight pause and some rustling on the other end of the line.

"I miss you too Chlo. Like all the time. Life sucks without you over here to keep me in check." A twinge of pain races through my heart.

"I miss you too Becs…" I hear Beca let out a heavy sigh and I can already see her running a hand through her hair.

"You okay?" There's a long pause but I can almost hear the gears turning in Beca's head.

"I'm fine Chlo…" My heart breaks more at the blatant lie that I know Beca has perfected over years of use and practice. A fresh wave of tears well in my eyes because Beca is exactly two thousand one hundred and seventy seven miles away from me and there isn't a thing I can do to make whatever is going on better.

"I know you are." My voice gives slightly, and I pray Beca didn't notice but I know luck isn't on my side.

"You alright Chlo…?" I shake my head with a small smile. The movement makes the tears fall and I wipe them away.

"I'm fine Bec…" There is another long pause and I have to check the phone to make sure the call is still connected.

"Beale…" I hum in response. "Are you the same fine as me…?" Beca's question takes me by surprise but before I have the chance to ask what she means Beca speaks again. "Because I'm not fine at all…" I can hear the heavy emotion in Beca's voice and I have to look up at the ceiling to make sure no more tears fall.

"I know. I'm sorry I didn't call sooner." There is a small chuckle followed by a sniffle.

"It's not your fault. Please don't think it's your fault." Clenching my jaw together I close my eyes.

"You're my best friend Beca. I should know these things and not get the message through a music video. If I had called more or made more time for yo-" Beca's voice cuts me off.

"No Chlo. It's not your fault. You're perfect. I know you're there. You're a phone call away. But I can't always bother you with my trivial issues. You have a life too. A life you love." Beca's words wreck my heart. _I love you more._

"Beca… I can always make time for you." Beca scoffs into the phone and I can see her shaking her head.

"Why Chlo… No one else does. For Christs sake Jesse couldn't last over here a month without finding someone else and dropping me faster than I could ask why after five years. My dad doesn't return my calls since he and the step monster had Addie Grace but occasionally I'll get a congrats or we're proud text. LA is a dog eat dog world. Theo is legitimately my only friend over here and I can't deal with it. I'm so alone over here Chlo. I thought this was my dream. To be big and famous in LA. Khaled offered me the life I wanted on a silver platter. But I'm alone, I'm stressed" Beca's voice breaks and I can tell she's crying. "Maybe I wasn't built for this life Chlo… I just don't know Chlo…" A small sob comes across the line and it makes my tears fall.

"Bec…" My voice is heavy as I speak. "I need you to really hear me… You are Beca Mitchell. The most talented, most caring, most bad ass person I know. You belong in that life. You were made for it. You don't need to worry about Jesse or your dad. They're replaceable. They don't know the Beca Mitchell I do. They think you are this brooding adult who doesn't care and can handle her own. The Beca I know needs to be held sometimes. Needs to be told how amazing she is because god she really is amazing. If she just opened her eyes… The Beca I know is fragile. She needs love and reassurance. Because she's human. It's a human thing to need all of those things. My Beca has just been hurt a couple times and is scared to trust people to tell her the things she needs to hear because of the fear of being lied to again. My Beca is amazing and beautiful and smart and kind and talented and so many other things. So many more reasons why I fell in love with you…" My voice catches in my throat as my words register. Those words weren't meant to come out. The line goes silent and my heart thuds impossibly faster in my chest. When the silence gets to be too much I feel my throat start to close up. "Bec I'm sorry! I shouldn't have dropped that bomb on you. You're stressed, and it wasn't right. It wasn't…" Beca's voice cuts me off and I hold my breath.

"You love me?" Beca's tone sounds hopeful but it could also pass for being incredulous. I swallow the lump that formed in my throat as I mentally prepare myself for the worst rejection in history.

"Yeah, but it's fine Beca. Don't worry about it. It was stupid…" My sentence hangs open as my mind isn't able to come up with excuses. A few seconds of silence pass and my hands start to tremble with anxiety.

"For how long…?" Beca's voice gives nothing away and it scares me to the core. With a heavy sigh I run my fingers through my hair. _No point in lying now…_

"Since your initiation night when you thought we were actually drinking blood, but I told you it was Boons Farms." A small smile forms on my lips as the memory passes through my mind. Though the line in silence I can hear the cogs and gears grinding in Beca's head. I wait patiently for a reaction and just when I think one isn't going to come Beca's voice comes through the line.

"Well, I think I've loved you since auditions. You gave me this smile like you had faith in me. Like you knew I was going to be okay. Like you knew I was meant for music." My breath catches in my throat at Beca's confession. _She loves me too…_ My jaw hangs open and Beca chuckles. "I guess you always knew Beale. So, thanks I guess… I wouldn't be here without you." My brain is unable to conjure a response and I know I've been quiet for too long. "You busy next week Beale?" I shake my head no but I quickly facepalm myself. _She can't see that stupid._

"No…Why?" My voice comes out as a squeak and it makes Beca laugh.

"Because I want to fly out and kiss you properly Chlo… I have a few free days I can use, and I want to come see you. To tell you I love you in person…" Beca's words make my heart soar. Hearing the words roll off of Beca's lips sounds surreal.

"Sounds like a date…" My smile grows as I speak.

"Yeah, I want to take you on one of those too…" Shaking my head I can't help but thank whatever god has been listening to my prayers. Years later the one girl I love tells me she loves me too. Even if a continent separates us right now that's okay because I now know Beca loves me. That's good enough for now.


End file.
